Althou' my life i empty,i still enjoys it : )

sumtimes pictures express more than words.. : )


from temerloh after birthda mak angkat,reach kl 2.30 am huhu..
celebration birthday big daddy cliff ( 11/10/08 )



( ampunkan beta wahai cliff sebab x prepare aper2 for ur bday..but i managed to get u a very cute bday card..i hope u liked it )




jalan2 d genting highland since vacation nk ke langkawi tpaksa dbatalkan dsebabkan kesuntukan masa huhu - otw balik from temerloh pahang to kl ( 12/10/08 )

13/10/08 - on MC since penat sgt and x siap kemas2 barang lagi..

14/10/08 - 20/10/08 - in my hometown sandakan...


me,ronnie and laswan ( secondary school frens until now )
this pic is taken selepas kenduri arwah nenek ...
background laut x jelas sgt since dh malam..hmm ( date 16/10/08 )
pd tarikh ni jugak la dsebalik wajh happy ni menerim berita from my svisor i was not confirmed ( i lose my job!! )







me and zino during melalak session ( karaoke ) with khairi ( not included in the pic ) 2nd day after back in kl ( 21/10/08 )
i'm jobless : (
and hopeless..but i keep the happy side

below is during rumah terbuka daniel and abg nana kat the zone KLCC..
i fall in love kejap with tommy hmm..
this is after a black tragedy between me and my housemate Jimmy the other nite..
( 25/10/08 ) <>

million thanks to daniel and abg nana for throwin a fabuluos event : )

this is hmmmm...

i should leave a blank description..taken by abg kimie ( abg ke?? ) ( 27/10/08 )

btw,this is my latest looks for october and november i guess..



i'm jobless,

bf i separuh masa je,

my parents hated me,

my housemate hated me,

i make a lot of mistakes in life,

gaji i kene hold ( siot je )

banyak hutang yg i x settle lg,

i minat kat org tp org x minat kat i,

my house is a mess,

i feel so lonely,

i feel so empty,

lately..

but i still enjoys it : )

~MoD

recently...

1. RAMADHAN...

during ramadhan season,for the first 3 weeks of fasting month,it's been very well.nothing much interesting tapi happy sebab 1 hari pown xde pose pecah during first 3 weeks..

jadual keje semuanye morning shift..i dont know whether its a good news or a bad news,sebab i ni pown memang mata kelawar..selalunye lemas2 d siang hari and bertenaga d malam hari ( gteww.. ).walaupun waktu tidur x menentu sepanjang 3 minggu tue,tapi masih dpt maintain jugak..tapi datang keje lewat 2 kali and i was issued a 2nd counseling letter by my supervisor..sedeyy..

just a few minutes late...

but i carry on life like normal

Eisham akhirnya menghubungi i semula untuk mengajak berbuke bersama and ader motif lain sebenarnye..its been so long x kuar makan bersama,and i think its a great oppurtunity.

A new guy,Nick,kenal dalam g4m menghiasi hari2 ku..

he's a nice person but i dont think he's into relationship with me..

and either was i..but we both have this strange chemistry..ntahla..whatever..let time decide..

this is Nick!!! : )

2. MY MAK ANGKAT

Semuanye bermula bila shah( my ex bf ) ajak kuar shopping raya,and waktu tue birthday kawan baik dia lak,Jimmy.and since i never been hanging out with them for such a while,akhirnye i termakan pujuk untuk pegi Temerloh Pahang,untuk lepak2 d rumah family Shah(lagipun pada waktu tue shah telah kehilangan handphone nokia n95 8G so rasa simpati lak )

2 hari d pahang memang seronok.Mak Shah memang melayan kitorg dgn baik.i fell like home with them and we have so much fun.and ntah2 tetibe terkeluar istilah Mak angkat pada i terhadap mak Shah and kitorg terus contact each other until now.Until now,i selalu turun Pahang untuk lepak bersama2 mak angkat.Mak angkat pun baik sangat and selalu ajak lepak umah.

ni gambar sewaktu main bunga api kat pahang..seronok sangat mengembalikan nostalgia kanak2..hmm..

3. 3 MALAM SEBELUM RAYA

Macam2 sakit mula datang,cuti dah approve cuma belum update dalam sistem.i akan balik kampung 14hb october,x kira,i minta Eisham hantar i pegi LCCT jugak.dan dia pun setuju.Walaupun sudah jauh,tapi disebabkan kenangan2 indah lalu,masih ada rasa sayang lagi kot antara kitorg berdua..hmm..sebelum dia balik kampung pown i kene temankan dia jugak,so have to be fair and square la kan.

I mula demam,maybe due to weather condition yang x stabil,selera makan pun kurang,badan i makin susut macam orang sakit je.i try to eat many things that can upgrade my appetite but none of it works.malam raya berbuka kali terakhir bersama2 along,zino n mac dekat pizza hut BB..kl makin lengang..malam tue kitorg balik lewat,i paksa jugak bebudak ni jalan2 kat jalan TAR ahahaha...beli kuih raya n aper2 yang patut for raya kekdah nye..

4. RAYA!!!!!

Cuti raya ni x di sia2kan.beraya kat umah anjang memang meriah..masing2 berbaju melayu..memang kelass..baju melayu termahal n terfancy harus la,big daddy cliff!!!ahaha..balik terus g karaoke dekat greenbox balakong n aktiviti kemuncak pegi clubbing dekat BLUE BOY gtewww..masing2 bertanding nak dapat jantan kann..well,x sangka i jumpe sorg mamat irish nama dia mike,

dari minggu lalu masa i clubbing dekat La Queen lagi dia dh usha2 i tapi i buat kekwat je ( gteww.. ) since foreigner never been in my preferences..tapi,oleh kerana mike,exceptional case la kot..akhirnye bertukar2 no jugak kitorg n nasib baik d hari mulia iteww.. iman i masih teguh lagi dsebabkan x mengikut dia ke tempat2 gelap n buat bende x senonoh..ahaha..tapi mak dh rasa u ols ko--- dia..beso..takutt..ahahahaha...

btw...yg paling x menahan cliff n zino sanggup demam sampai amik mc sempena raya..faham x maksud i?ahahaha..

5. CAREER AND MEDICAL LEAVES...

Dengan mc yang berlambak2 i rasa i xkan lama dgn career i skrg..i memang dh penat n fed up.cuma malas nk cari keje lain..malas nak g interview,malas nak start all over again..teringin nak merasa hidup jobless at least 2 weeks but i cant afford to live that way ( i'm a survivor )

I x inform lagi dekat Eisham how am i at work,kalo dia tahu sah2 dia marah2 n jerit2 kan i ( hmmm.. ) ,i mc 2 hari since doctor cakap i have a high blood pressure.maybe it is due to not enuff sleep,eat a lot of chocolate and drinks a lot of coffee,nasib baik doc x mention pasal smoke,since smoking is one of my heavy habit hmm..

keadaan i sekarang macam orang sakit..sampai ofismate yg x rapat dgn i pun perasan..dia cakap i macam sakit n x manja,mesra n ceria macam dulu2 wakt keje..i begin to wonder ( pecah lobang ke i kt ofisss??sah2 la eisham menjauhkan diri dr i huhu ).ada ketumbuhan kat mata kiri i buat mata i berat nak buka..nampak hodoh sangat n buat i xnak jumpe maner2 skandal lately..

all i think about is rest as much as i can..
and make a comeback ( ala2 diva la konon kan )

x sabar nak balik kampung..

banyak aktiviti2 tertunggak yang i kene kota kan.. ( ntahla bile akan tercapai )

lagipun,i tengah pk masak2 nak cari keje baru yg macammana pulak..

well,

as far as i concern..

9/10/08 - 10/10/08 - pas keje 09/10/08 terus balik pahang celebrate birthday mak angkat

10/10/08 - balik kl tengah2 malam g la queen n celebrate birthday cliff daddy kot ( as updated with anjang )

11/10/08 - 13/10/08 - LANGKAWI!!! ~ bercuti kekdah nye.. ( KIV dulu ) ...x confirm lagi,

kalo x g pun maybe buat warming house kot..

14/10/08 - 20/10/08 - oh ho ho..balik kampung..

21/10/08 onwards - will be back in KL and begin new challenges ahead..

p/s : month on november, i'm planning to go to singapore to watch kylie concert..who is interested to join me?? but still KIV status..tengok budget lorrr..ahh..kalo la ader datuk2 yg nk sponsor i bole i confirmkan je ahaha..

btw,this is my lovely cat shasha( gambar waktu kecik lagi )..ni kucing gile tapi kesian sekarang dia dh patah kaki n lebih berperwatakan seperti kangaroo..( hmm.. )

~mod*

ahli2 SDV sekalian bile la kite nk lunaskan nk kuar bercuti beramai2 u olss???

mak on je kalo cuti2 ni huhu..

mak kan ratu MC muahaha..

saper lagi diva??

Diva Zino or.. Diva Jojie..( just 4 fun ok )

ahahaha...mamposs la aku oleh c zino

post your votes to comments yaa..

ahahahaha...

I'm in the mood for love

just a new guy i recently know..

he's a very nice guy btw..

it feels like love is in the air

but still not in time yet..

ahaha..

a simple project for fun only.. : p

if he sees this,

mamposs aku

ahahaha..nick ampun kan beta kerana publish blog yg bukan2 ni..

sesungguhnye patik d serang hi blood pressure membuat kan otak i kurang stabil sedikit ( ting tong )

patik tgh boring sgt2 so update blog je lah

Who are you??

Bury me deep in love,
Bury me deep in love
Take me in, under your wing
Bury me deep in love

There's a chapel deep in a valley
For travelling strangers in distress
It's nestled among the ghosts of the pines
Under the shadow of a precipice

When a lonesome climbing figure
Slips and loses grip
Tumbles into a crevice
To his icy mountain crypt

Bury him deep in love, bury him deep in love
Take him in, under your wing
Bury him deep in love

When the rock below is shaking
The heart inside is quaking
How long this cold dark night is taking
Bury me deep in love

Bury me deep in love, bury me deep in love
Take me in, under your skin
Bury me deep in love

And the little congregation gathers,
Prays for guidance from above
They sing, "Hear our meditation,
Lead us not into temptation
But give us some kind of explanation
Bury us deep in love"

You may lose me on the east face
You may lose me on the west
I may be covered over in the night
Bury me deep in your love yes

Bury me deep in love. bury me deep in love
Take me in, hide me under your skin
Bury me deep in love

especially for eisham

TOO MUCH...

too much..
but i can't get enough

there's too much days passes by,
too much reminiscing,
than living my life..

there's too much days wasted,
too much things,
that i did not to myself.

there's too much words left unsaid,
and less time,
i was lost with words.

there's too much pain,
and sorrow
i race myself with my every heartbeat,
to balance it with happiness.

there's too much fear,
there's too uncertainty,
there's too much thoughts,
i feel like a stranger,
intense..

there's too much love..
well does it matter anyway?
does a person like me deserve a pure love?

there's too much lives,
to think of..
but i can only live once.

what should i do to make it better?
where should i start?
before its ending

too much desperation,
i need to change..
i need to get away..
for,
life,
love,future...

i want to be bold,

i want to be different.

~MoD
....bury me deep in love...

aku sebagai orang ketiga

aku sebagai orang ketiga,

masih..

aku jua yang lebih kesunyian,

aku jua yang selalu ditinggalkan,

aku jua yang selalu tidur berseorangan,

hanya mampu merasakan angin lalu,

tentang kasihmu yang lepas.

aku sebagai orang ketiga,

aku yang selalu mengharap,

dan mengalah,

dingin,

bagai salju dari luar,

disaat mata hatiku terbuka,

pernahkah kau terasa hangat tika mendakapku?

aku sebagai orang ketiga,

masih..

aku yang selalu dipersalahkan,

dipertikaikan,

pernahkah kau cuba untuk berada di tempat ku?

aku sebagai orang ketiga,

selalu terluka,

ku baluti semua lukaku sendiri.

kepercayaanku bagai lautan,

dan kau bagai sinaran senja,

namun ombak dan gelora selalu menghanyutkan ku kembali ke pantai.

aku sebagai orang ketiga,

yang selalu tidak punya pilihan,

bilakah mampu ku melebarkan sayap mencapai awan?

aku kekasih gelapmu,

simbol kebebasan,

yang tak pernah mampu kau miliki,

puncakku tidak tertawan,

terlalu banyak persoalan,

terlalu banyak pemikiran,

terlalu banyak halangan.

kau kekasihku,

kata hatimu,

tidak pernah akan terucap,

akan terus bersemadi,

saat kau kembali padaku,

dan memelukku sambil menutup matamu,

segalanya jadi kosong,

bagai titik permulaan kita,

yang tak pernah ada.

~butter*fie